Popular Bizarro Fiction Books
30+ [Hand Picked] Popular Books On Bizarro Fiction
Discover the list of some best books written on Bizarro Fiction by popular award winning authors. These book on topic Bizarro Fiction highly popular among the readers worldwide.
Make Something Up: Stories You Can't Unread by Chuck Palahniuk
Stories you'll never forget—just try—from literature's favorite transgressive author Representing work that spans several years, Make Something Up is a compilation of 21 stories and one novella (some previously published, some not) that will disturb and delight. The absurdity of both life and death are on full display; in "Zombies," the best and brightest of a high school Stories you'll never forget—just try—from literature's favorite transgressive author Representing work that spans several years, Make Something Up is a compilation of 21 stories and one novella (some previously published, some not) that will disturb and delight. The absurdity of both life and death are on full display; in "Zombies," the best and brightest of a high school prep school become tragically addicted to the latest drug craze: electric shocks from cardiac defibrillators. In "Knock, Knock," a son hopes to tell one last off-color joke to a father in his final moments, while in "Tunnel of Love," a massage therapist runs the curious practice of providing 'relief' to dying clients. And in "Expedition," fans will be thrilled to find to see a side of Tyler Durden never seen before in a precursor story to Fight Club. Funny, caustic, bizarre, poignant; these stories represent everything readers have come to love and expect from Chuck Palahniuk. They have all the impact of a sharp blow to the solar plexus, with considerable collateral damage to the funny bone.
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This Book Is Full of Spiders by David Wong
Возможно, прямо сейчас в вашей голове живет большой невидимый паук. И это не метафора. Конечно, вы можете счесть мои слова паранойей. Но помните, такие мысли — первый симптом паразитической инфекции. Существо внутри вас специально стимулирует скептицизм, чтобы вы не побежали к доктору. Впрочем, лекарство от такой болезни имеет привкус бензопилы, так что паук все делает пра Возможно, прямо сейчас в вашей голове живет большой невидимый паук. И это не метафора. Конечно, вы можете счесть мои слова паранойей. Но помните, такие мысли — первый симптом паразитической инфекции. Существо внутри вас специально стимулирует скептицизм, чтобы вы не побежали к доктору. Впрочем, лекарство от такой болезни имеет привкус бензопилы, так что паук все делает правильно. Вы не можете почувствовать его, ведь он контролирует ваши нервные окончания. Вы ничего не ощутите даже тогда, когда паук начнет размножаться. А он начнет. В этом не сомневайтесь. Джон и Дэвид по-прежнему живут в Неназываемом городе, где количество странностей на квадратный метр превышает любую норму. На этот раз им придётся иметь дело с нашествием зомби. Или монстров. Хотя нет, скорее с мозговыми паразитами. Или с пауками, которые могут залезть вам в голову. А возможно, с мировым заговором. Доверять нельзя никому, мир сошёл с ума, в городе — карантин, в стране — паранойя, и что остаётся делать? Только спасать всех, кого возможно.
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The Warren by Brian Evenson
X doesn’t have a name. He thought he had one—or many—but that might be the result of the failing memories of the personalities imprinted within him. Or maybe he really is called X. He’s also not as human as he believes himself to be. But when he discovers the existence of another—above ground, outside the protection of the Warren—X must learn what it means to be human, or fa X doesn’t have a name. He thought he had one—or many—but that might be the result of the failing memories of the personalities imprinted within him. Or maybe he really is called X. He’s also not as human as he believes himself to be. But when he discovers the existence of another—above ground, outside the protection of the Warren—X must learn what it means to be human, or face the destruction of their two species.
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Letters From The Looney Bin (Book 1) by Thatcher C. Nalley
LETTERS FROM THE LOONEY BIN is a #1 Amazon Bestseller! In the late 1970s the Emerson Rose Asylum became completely abandoned - all the patients, doctors, staff, vanished and were never seen again. The events circling this mass exodus have been one of the most baffling disappearances in history. Until now. A stack of bundled letters was found inside a tattered asylum mattre LETTERS FROM THE LOONEY BIN is a #1 Amazon Bestseller! In the late 1970s the Emerson Rose Asylum became completely abandoned - all the patients, doctors, staff, vanished and were never seen again. The events circling this mass exodus have been one of the most baffling disappearances in history. Until now. A stack of bundled letters was found inside a tattered asylum mattress during the Emerson demolition. These letters, all addressed to the pseudonym Dr. Quill, were written by the patients as they documented the demise of the Emerson Rose Asylum. The patients innocently convey their dire pasts while the events occurring hint toward dark happenings outside their doors. Haunting, their words conjure feelings both grim and promising, as they secretly conjure a plan of mass exodus from the volatile institution. The names have been changed, but the stories have not. Though their identities are protected, the essence of these patients’ challenges, triumphs, corruptions, salvations, and most of all, their human spirit, remains untouched. Their journey will become your journey as the patients chronicle their final months in these, Letters from the Looney Bin. www.LooneyLetters.com Follow at: www.facebook.com/LettersFromLooneyBin
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Brimstone and Marmalade by Aaron Corwin
Just in time for Halloween, we have a funny, sweet, and slightly skewed short story by Aaron Corwin, an up-and-coming writer from Seattle. All Mathilde wanted for her birthday was a pony. Instead, she got a demon. Sometimes growing up means learning that what you think you want is not always what you need. At the publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Just in time for Halloween, we have a funny, sweet, and slightly skewed short story by Aaron Corwin, an up-and-coming writer from Seattle. All Mathilde wanted for her birthday was a pony. Instead, she got a demon. Sometimes growing up means learning that what you think you want is not always what you need. At the publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management software (DRM) applied.
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Witch Piss by Sam Pink
I noticed it was beginning to get dark. And for a couple seconds, it was scary—like that meant the world was breaking, or expired, or bruised, or something worse. It was really scary for a couple seconds but then I calmed down. Up above, the moonlit clouds looked rippled, like the ribcage of some giant thing digesting me. And I wondered if the direction I was going went do I noticed it was beginning to get dark. And for a couple seconds, it was scary—like that meant the world was breaking, or expired, or bruised, or something worse. It was really scary for a couple seconds but then I calmed down. Up above, the moonlit clouds looked rippled, like the ribcage of some giant thing digesting me. And I wondered if the direction I was going went down into the digestive system or up out of it. Wondered what difference it made. There was a bug hovering over a small pool of ice cream on the sidewalk. Like a firefly, but it wasn’t a firefly. And I could’ve stepped on it and killed it. But I didn’t. Be thankful, little bug. For in my world, you are just a little bug.
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A Collapse of Horses by Brian Evenson
A stuffed bear's heart beats with the rhythm of a dead baby; Reno keeps receding to the east no matter how far you drive; and in a mine on another planet, the dust won't stop seeping in. In these stories, Brian Evenson unsettles us with the everyday and the extraordinary—the terror of living with the knowledge of all we cannot know.
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The Last Horror Novel in the History of the World by Brian Allen Carr
The black magic of bad living only looks hideous to honest eyes. Welcome to Scrape, Texas, a nowhere town near the Mexican border. Few people ever visit Scrape, and the unlucky ones who live there never seem to escape. They fill their days with fish fries, cheap beer, tobacco, firearms, and sex. But Scrape is about to be invaded by a plague of monsters unlike anything ever The black magic of bad living only looks hideous to honest eyes. Welcome to Scrape, Texas, a nowhere town near the Mexican border. Few people ever visit Scrape, and the unlucky ones who live there never seem to escape. They fill their days with fish fries, cheap beer, tobacco, firearms, and sex. But Scrape is about to be invaded by a plague of monsters unlike anything ever seen in the history of the world. First there's La Llorona -- the screaming woman in white -- and her horde of ghost children. Then come the black, hairy hands. Thousands, millions, scurrying on fingers like spiders or crabs. But the hands are nothing to El Abuelo, a wicked creature with a magical bullwhip, and even El Abuelo don't mean shit when the devil comes to town.
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Rontel by Sam Pink
We now enter: Total Isolation Rontel is the story of one man’s odyssey through Chicago. Follow him as he attempts to go to his last day of work. Follow him through the subway as he considers stealing chips from a dancing baby. Find him being threatened by a homeless man holding board games. Take his hand as he considers building a hydraulic cocoon for his cat out of a compl We now enter: Total Isolation Rontel is the story of one man’s odyssey through Chicago. Follow him as he attempts to go to his last day of work. Follow him through the subway as he considers stealing chips from a dancing baby. Find him being threatened by a homeless man holding board games. Take his hand as he considers building a hydraulic cocoon for his cat out of a complimentary duffel bag. Walk the streets of Uptown as a cop-killer takes hostages to the roof of an apartment building. Meet his friends. Just kidding! Follow him to his neighbor’s apartment where he gets paid in pumpkin pie to watch a baby. Follow him through through the dull pains of never quite becoming an adult. Sit back, laugh, smile, hold your breath, because not even he knows how it ends. “Funny as hell, searingly honest, and urgently real, Sam Pink’s Rontel puts to shame most modern fiction. His writing perfectly captures the bizarre parade that is Chicago, with all its gloriously odd and wonderful people. This book possesses both the nerve of Nelson Algren and the existential comedy of Albert Camus.” – Joe Meno
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Sweet Story by Carlton Mellick III
The end of the world has never been sweeter. Sally is an odd little girl. It's not because she dresses as if she's from the Edwardian era or spends most of her time playing with creepy talking dolls. It's because she chases rainbows as if they were butterflies. She believes that if she finds the end of the rainbow then magical things will happen to her--leprechauns will sho The end of the world has never been sweeter. Sally is an odd little girl. It's not because she dresses as if she's from the Edwardian era or spends most of her time playing with creepy talking dolls. It's because she chases rainbows as if they were butterflies. She believes that if she finds the end of the rainbow then magical things will happen to her--leprechauns will shower her with gold and fairies will grant her every wish. But when she actually does find the end of a rainbow one day, and is given the opportunity to wish for whatever she wants, Sally asks for something that she believes will bring joy to children all over the world. She wishes that it would rain candy forever. She had no idea that her innocent wish would lead to the extinction of all life on earth. Sweet Story is a children's book gone horribly wrong. What starts as a cute, charming tale of rainbows and wishes soon becomes a vicious, unrelenting tale of survival in an inhospitable world full of cannibals and rapists. The result is one of the darkest comedies you'll read all year, told with the wit and style you've come to expect from a Mellick novel.
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A God of Hungry Walls by Garrett Cook
When you are within my walls, I am God. I have always been here and I will always be. I have complete dominion. I control what you see, what you feel, and how you think. I will bend reality to whatever I wish. I will show you your worst fears and make you indulge in your darkest desires. Your pain is my pleasure. Your tears are my ambrosia. Your despair is my joy. I will b When you are within my walls, I am God. I have always been here and I will always be. I have complete dominion. I control what you see, what you feel, and how you think. I will bend reality to whatever I wish. I will show you your worst fears and make you indulge in your darkest desires. Your pain is my pleasure. Your tears are my ambrosia. Your despair is my joy. I will break you. I will ruin you. Once you enter me, there is no escape. I will own you, forever. From Wonderland Book Award winning author, Garrett Cook, comes a haunted house novel unlike any you've ever read. Told entirely from the perspective of the haunting, A GOD OF HUNGRY WALLS is a perverse, violent, and soul-crushing take on supernatural horror.
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How To Kill Yourself by C.V. Hunt
DISCLAIMER: This is not a how to guide. The author is no way responsible for your actions after reading. Earth, Heaven, Hell, and Purgatory. There is only one way to move from any of these worlds to the next…
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Beer Run of the Dead by D.F. Noble
An epic drunk romp through the wasteland of a zombie apocalypse, Beer Run of the Dead is the first book in a series sure to wet your whistle. Follow Kip, Rock and Steady, as they struggle to survive and stay completely shit-faced in the face of certain undead doom. These three unlikely heroes hold the key to humanity's salvation, but will they succeed being inebriated as t An epic drunk romp through the wasteland of a zombie apocalypse, Beer Run of the Dead is the first book in a series sure to wet your whistle. Follow Kip, Rock and Steady, as they struggle to survive and stay completely shit-faced in the face of certain undead doom. These three unlikely heroes hold the key to humanity's salvation, but will they succeed being inebriated as they are? Not everyone who saves the world is a rocket scientist, a super hero, or a handsome actor turned politician. Sometimes people who save the world... they're fucking idiots.
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Basal Ganglia by Matthew Revert
Basal Ganglia casts an unsettling spell, but one that in its aphoristic intensity and lightning-flash insights into human loneliness and connection, achieves a genuine empathic wisdom." - SERGIO DE LA PAVA, author of A Naked Singularity "Matthew Revert is one of the visionaries. What else can you say?" - SCOTT MCCLANAHAN, author of Hill William and Crapalachia As teenagers, Basal Ganglia casts an unsettling spell, but one that in its aphoristic intensity and lightning-flash insights into human loneliness and connection, achieves a genuine empathic wisdom." - SERGIO DE LA PAVA, author of A Naked Singularity "Matthew Revert is one of the visionaries. What else can you say?" - SCOTT MCCLANAHAN, author of Hill William and Crapalachia As teenagers, two lovers, Rollo and Ingrid, escape the world as it is known to live underground in a sprawling pillow fort that mirrors the structure of the human brain. Construction of the fort takes 25 years and once complete, their life exists to honor the fort in all it requires. Basal Ganglia begins countless years after they have become enslaved to the fort process. Rollo and Ingrid have lost any connection to their pasts and each other. Nothing exists beyond the patterns required by the fort. In an effort to become more than stasis, Ingrid expresses her desire to have a baby. Not wanting to subject another human to their strange world, she decides she will knit the baby using materials Rollo gathers from the fort. The emergence of this baby leads to paranoia between Rollo and Ingrid with both believing the other means the child harm. Within the confines of their cloistered world, the two engage in psychological warfare, desperately searching for a conclusion they don't understand. As a result, they will find connection with their past, each other and the true nature of their identities.
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Quicksand House by Carlton Mellick III
From master of bizarro fiction Carlton Mellick III, author of the international cult hits "Satan Burger" and "Adolf in Wonderland," comes a dystopian nightmare of epic proportions. "You must never leave the nursery. If you leave, you will certainly die." Tick and Polly have never met their parents before. They live in the same house with them, they dream about them every ni From master of bizarro fiction Carlton Mellick III, author of the international cult hits "Satan Burger" and "Adolf in Wonderland," comes a dystopian nightmare of epic proportions. "You must never leave the nursery. If you leave, you will certainly die." Tick and Polly have never met their parents before. They live in the same house with them, they dream about them every night, they share the same flesh and blood, yet for some reason their parents have never found the time to visit them even once since they were born. Living in a dark corner of their parents' vast crumbling mansion, the children long for the day when they will finally be held in their mother's loving arms for the first time... But that day seems to never come. They worry their parents have long since forgotten about them. When the machines that provide them with food and water stop functioning, the children are forced to venture out of the nursery to find their parents on their own. But the rest of the house is much larger and stranger than they ever could have imagined. The maze-like hallways are dark and seem to go on forever, deranged creatures lurk in every shadow, and the bodies of long-dead children litter the abandoned storerooms. Every minute out of the nursery is a constant battle for survival. And the deeper into the house they go, the more they must unravel the mysteries surrounding their past and the world they've grown up in, if they ever hope to meet the parents they've always longed to see. Like a survival horror rendition of "Flowers in the Attic," Carlton Mellick III's "Quicksand House" is his most gripping and sincere work to date.
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The Haunted Vagina by Carlton Mellick III
It's difficult to love a woman whose vagina is a gateway to the world of the dead. Steve is madly in love with his eccentric girlfriend, Stacy. Unfortunately, their sex life has been suffering as of late, because Steve is worried about the odd noises that have been coming from Stacy's pubic region. She says that her vagina is haunted. She doesn't think it's that big of a de It's difficult to love a woman whose vagina is a gateway to the world of the dead. Steve is madly in love with his eccentric girlfriend, Stacy. Unfortunately, their sex life has been suffering as of late, because Steve is worried about the odd noises that have been coming from Stacy's pubic region. She says that her vagina is haunted. She doesn't think it's that big of a deal. Steve, on the other hand, completely disagrees. When a living corpse climbs out of her during an awkward night of sex, Stacy learns that her vagina is actually a doorway to another world. She persuades Steve to climb inside of her to explore this strange new place. But once inside, Steve finds it difficult to return... especially once he meets an oddly attractive woman named Fig, who lives within the lonely haunted world between Stacy's legs.
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Satan Burger by Carlton Mellick III
Absurd philosophies, dark surrealism & the end of the human race... God hates you. All of you. He closed the gates of Heaven & wants you to rot on Earth forever. Not only that, he is repossesing your souls & feeding them to a large vagina-like machine called the Walm-an interdimensional doorway that brings His New Children into the world. He loves these new ch Absurd philosophies, dark surrealism & the end of the human race... God hates you. All of you. He closed the gates of Heaven & wants you to rot on Earth forever. Not only that, he is repossesing your souls & feeding them to a large vagina-like machine called the Walm-an interdimensional doorway that brings His New Children into the world. He loves these new children, but He doesn't love you. They are more interesting than you. They are beautiful, psychotic, magical, sex-crazed & deadly. They are turning your cities into apocalyptic chaos & there's nothing you can do about it. Featuring: a narrator who sees his body from a 3rd-person perspective, a man whose flesh is dead but his body parts are alive & running amok, an overweight messiah, the personal life of the Grim Reaper, lots of classy sex & violence, & a motley group of squatter punks that team up with the devil to find their place in a world that doesn t want them anymore.
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The Bizarro Starter Kit (Orange) by Carlton Mellick III , Andre Duza , D. Harlan Wilson , Jeremy Robert Johnson , Kevin L. Donihe , Gina Ranalli , V
There's a new genre rising from the underground. Its name: BIZARRO. For years, readers have been asking for a category of fiction dedicated to the weird, crazy, cult side of storytelling that has become a staple in the film industry (with directors such as David Lynch, Takashi Miike, Tim Burton, and Lloyd Kaufman) but has been largely ignored in the literary world, until n There's a new genre rising from the underground. Its name: BIZARRO. For years, readers have been asking for a category of fiction dedicated to the weird, crazy, cult side of storytelling that has become a staple in the film industry (with directors such as David Lynch, Takashi Miike, Tim Burton, and Lloyd Kaufman) but has been largely ignored in the literary world, until now. The Bizarro Starter Kit features short novels and story collections by ten of the leading authors in the bizarro genre: D. Harlan Wilson, Carlton Mellick III, Jeremy Robert Johnson, Kevin L Donihe, Gina Ranalli, Andre Duza, VIncent W. Sakowski, Steve Beard, John Edward Lawson, and Bruce Taylor.
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Angel Dust Apocalypse by Jeremy Robert Johnson
Meth-heads, man-made monsters, and murderous Neo-Nazis. Blissed out club kids dying at the speed of sound. The un-dead and the very soon-to-be-dead. They're all here, trying to claw their way free. From the radioactive streets of a war-scarred future, where the nuclear bombs have become self-aware, to the fallow fields of Nebraska where the kids are mainlining lightning bu Meth-heads, man-made monsters, and murderous Neo-Nazis. Blissed out club kids dying at the speed of sound. The un-dead and the very soon-to-be-dead. They're all here, trying to claw their way free. From the radioactive streets of a war-scarred future, where the nuclear bombs have become self-aware, to the fallow fields of Nebraska where the kids are mainlining lightning bugs, this is a world both alien and intensely human. This is a place where self-discovery involves scalpels and horse tranquilizers; where the doctors are more doped-up than the patients; where obsessive-compulsive acid-freaks have unlocked the gateway to God and can't close the door. This is not a safe place. You can turn back now, or you can head straight into the heart of. the Angel Dust Apocalypse
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The Cannibals of Candyland by Carlton Mellick III
There exists a race of cannibals who are made out of candy. They live in an underground world filled with lollipop forests and gumdrop goblins. During the day, while you are away at work, they come above ground and prowl our streets for food. Their prey: your children. They lure young boys and girls to them with their sweet scent and bright colorful candy coating, then rip There exists a race of cannibals who are made out of candy. They live in an underground world filled with lollipop forests and gumdrop goblins. During the day, while you are away at work, they come above ground and prowl our streets for food. Their prey: your children. They lure young boys and girls to them with their sweet scent and bright colorful candy coating, then rip them apart with razor sharp teeth and claws. When he was a child, Franklin Pierce witnessed the death of his siblings at the hands of a candy woman with pink cotton candy hair. Since that day, the candy people have become his obsession. He has spent his entire life trying to prove that they exist. And after discovering the entrance to the underground world of the candy people, Franklin finds himself venturing into their sugary domain. His mission: capture one of them and bring it back, dead or alive. Cannibals of Candyland is an erotic horror story for the bizarro reader. Dark, disturbing, and absurd; this isn't the board game version of candy land you used to play as a kid.
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Rico Slade Will F*cking Kill You by Bradley N. Sands
What the crap is Arnold Schwarzenegger doing on the cover of Rico Slade's book? This is Rico Slade's goddamn book. Rico Slade is not a body builder, an actor, or a governor. Rico Slade is an action hero. Rico Slade doesn't care about the political climate. Rico Slade has an advance degree in badassery. Rico Slade's favorite food is the honey-roasted peanut. Rico Slade can What the crap is Arnold Schwarzenegger doing on the cover of Rico Slade's book? This is Rico Slade's goddamn book. Rico Slade is not a body builder, an actor, or a governor. Rico Slade is an action hero. Rico Slade doesn't care about the political climate. Rico Slade has an advance degree in badassery. Rico Slade's favorite food is the honey-roasted peanut. Rico Slade can rip out a throat with his bare hands. But Rico Slade's arch nemesis, Baron Mayhem, is threatening to drop a bomb on the Earth that will kill every human being except himself while leaving the world's currency intact. To save the planet, Rico Slade must journey across Hollywood to find Baron Mayhem. Unfortunately, Rico Slade's crime fighting style involves ripping out the throat of anyone who gets in his way, including grandmothers and Midwestern tourists. As Rico Slade leaves Hollywood in ruins, the only person who can stop him from destroying the city is his Jewish psychologist, Harold Schwartzman. Until he does, Rico Slade will kill as many people as it takes to thwart Baron Mayhem's evil scheme. Rico Slade will fucking kill everyone. RICO SLADE WILL FUCKING KILL YOU. Praise for the book: "A one-man Expendables wrecking crew." - SUPERHERO NOVELS "Rico Slade can grab Chuck Norris by a wrist and an ankle and use him as a jump rope. If you're looking for some well-crafted literary mayhem that entertains and pleases in equal degrees, this is the book for you." - THE AUSTIN POST "And, though brilliant and vastly intelligent, it should also be noted that Bradley Sands is a dick." -CRACKED.COM "If you like violence. If you have a decent sense of humor. If you have ever wondered what would happen if Richard Brautigan wrote a 90's action film instead of killing himself in the winter of 1984...These are all great reasons to read Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You." - HOUSEFIRE "Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You is a biting piece of satire on the "unreality" of Hollywood." -THE UNDEAD RAT "Rico Slade Will Fucking Kill You is laugh out loud funny, full of cheesy dialogue, testosterone, and can easily be read in one sitting. Buy it now or Rico Slade might rip out your fucking throat."- SPONTANEOUS COMBUSTION "If Eugene Ionesco had a threesome with two reels of 80s action movies, the baby would be this book. If you like ridiculous humor with the hands-down wildest action you will ever read, this is your book." - ZOMBIEBLOODFIGHTS
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Apeshit by Carlton Mellick III
Friday the 13th meets Visitor Q. Apeshit is Mellicks love letter to the great and terrible B-horror movie genre. Six trendy teenagers (three cheerleaders and three football players) go to an isolated cabin in the mountains for a weekend of drinking, partying, and crazy sex, only to find themselves in the middle of a life and death struggle against a horribly mutated psycho Friday the 13th meets Visitor Q. Apeshit is Mellicks love letter to the great and terrible B-horror movie genre. Six trendy teenagers (three cheerleaders and three football players) go to an isolated cabin in the mountains for a weekend of drinking, partying, and crazy sex, only to find themselves in the middle of a life and death struggle against a horribly mutated psychotic freak that just wont stay dead. Mellick parodies this horror clich and twists it into something deeper and stranger. It is the literary equivalent of a grindhouse film. It is a splatterpunks wet dream. It is perhaps one of the most fucked up books ever written. If you are a fan of Takashi Miike, Evil Dead, or Eurotrash horror then you must read this book.
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The Menstruating Mall by Carlton Mellick III
Ten ridiculously stereotypical consumer victims (a yuppie, a housewife, a retiree, a jock, a bible thumper, a cowboy, a preppy, a gamer, a goth, and a white suburban gangsta) find themselves unable to leave the mall one day. There is nothing stopping them. The doors are unlocked. Other shoppers are able to come and go as they please. But for some inexplicable reason, these Ten ridiculously stereotypical consumer victims (a yuppie, a housewife, a retiree, a jock, a bible thumper, a cowboy, a preppy, a gamer, a goth, and a white suburban gangsta) find themselves unable to leave the mall one day. There is nothing stopping them. The doors are unlocked. Other shoppers are able to come and go as they please. But for some inexplicable reason, these ten people cannot pry themselves away from their shopping miasma. The mall closes, and they won't leave. Days pass, and they're still there, eating meals in the food court and sleeping in department store bedroom displays. Then they begin to die off, one by one, murdered by a mysterious killer, and they still won't allow themselves to escape. Carlton Mellick III's "The Menstruating Mall" is both a modernized take on Luis Bunuel's "The Exterminating Angel," and a parody of Agatha Christie's "And Then There Were None." Featuring mock mall advertisements by retard punk hero Food Fortunata and cover art by Skin242.
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HELP! A Bear is Eating Me! by Mykle Hansen
Trapped in a remote Alaskan forest, pinned under his own SUV, gnawed upon by nature's finest predators, Marv Pushkin -- Corporate Warrior, Positive Thinker, Esquire subscriber -- waits impatiently for an ambulance and explains in detail the many reasons why this unfolding tragedy is everyone's fault but his own.
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Piecemeal June by Jordan Krall
Kevin lives in a small apartment above a porn shop with his tarot-reading cat, Mithra. He has gotten used to Mithra bringing him things from outside: dead mice, Twinkie wrappers, donut scraps, houseplants, and the occasional rabbit head. But one day, Mithra brings him an ankle... a sweaty piece of rubber-latex shaped like a human ankle. Later, he is brought an eyeball, the Kevin lives in a small apartment above a porn shop with his tarot-reading cat, Mithra. He has gotten used to Mithra bringing him things from outside: dead mice, Twinkie wrappers, donut scraps, houseplants, and the occasional rabbit head. But one day, Mithra brings him an ankle... a sweaty piece of rubber-latex shaped like a human ankle. Later, he is brought an eyeball, then a foot. After more latex body parts are brought upstairs, Kevin decides to glue them together to form a piecemeal sex doll. But once the last piece is glued into place, the sex doll comes to life. She says her name is June. She comes from another world and is on the run from an evil pornographer and three crab-human hybrid assassins. Piecemeal June is a reality-bending journey into love, sex, death, and a bizarre parallel world of butchered flesh.
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Ass Goblins of Auschwitz by Cameron Pierce
It's Monty Python meets Nazi exploitation in a surreal nightmare as can only be imagined by Bizarro author Cameron Pierce. In a land where black snow falls in the shape of swastikas, there exists a nightmarish prison camp known as Auschwitz. It is run by a fascist, flatulent race of aliens called the Ass Goblins, who travel in apple-shaped spaceships to abduct children fro It's Monty Python meets Nazi exploitation in a surreal nightmare as can only be imagined by Bizarro author Cameron Pierce. In a land where black snow falls in the shape of swastikas, there exists a nightmarish prison camp known as Auschwitz. It is run by a fascist, flatulent race of aliens called the Ass Goblins, who travel in apple-shaped spaceships to abduct children from the neighboring world of Kidland. Prisoners 999 and 1001 are conjoined twin brothers forced to endure the sadistic tortures of these ass-shaped monsters. To survive, they must eat kid skin and work all day constructing bicycles and sex dolls out of dead children. While the Ass Goblins become drunk on cider made from fermented children, the twins plot their escape. But it won't be easy. They must overcome toilet toads, cockrats, ass dolls, and the surgical experiments that are slowly mutating them into goblin-child hybrids. Forget everything you know about Auschwitz...you're about to be Shit Slaughtered.
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John Dies at the End by David Wong
STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's t STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why? You just have to trust me. The important thing is this: The drug is called Soy Sauce and it gives users a window into another dimension. John and I never had the chance to say no. You still do. I'm sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind: None of this was my fault.
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Shatnerquake by Jeff Burk
After a reality bomb goes off at the first ever ShatnerCon, all of the characters ever played by William Shatner are suddenly sucked into our world. Their mission: hunt down and destroy the real William Shatner. Featuring: Captain Kirk, TJ Hooker, Denny Crane, Priceline Shatner, Cartoon Kirk, Rescue 9-1-1 Shatner, singer Shatner, and many more. No costumed con-goer will be After a reality bomb goes off at the first ever ShatnerCon, all of the characters ever played by William Shatner are suddenly sucked into our world. Their mission: hunt down and destroy the real William Shatner. Featuring: Captain Kirk, TJ Hooker, Denny Crane, Priceline Shatner, Cartoon Kirk, Rescue 9-1-1 Shatner, singer Shatner, and many more. No costumed con-goer will be spared in their wave of destruction, no red shirt will make it out alive, and not even the Klingons will be able to stand up to a deranged Captain Kirk with a light saber. But these Shatner- clones are about to learn a hard lesson . . . that the real William Shatner doesn't take crap from anybody. Not even himself.
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The Baby Jesus Butt Plug by Carlton Mellick III
Step into a dark and absurd where human beings are slaves to corporations, people are photocopied instead of born, and the baby jesus is a very popular anal probe.
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The Egg Said Nothing by Caris O'Malley
Meet Manny. He's your average shut-in with a penchant for late night television and looting local fountains for coins. With eight locks on his door and newspapers covering his windows, he's more than a bit paranoid too. His wasn't a great life, but it was comfortable-at least it was until the morning he awoke with an egg between his legs. But what might have been a curse be Meet Manny. He's your average shut-in with a penchant for late night television and looting local fountains for coins. With eight locks on his door and newspapers covering his windows, he's more than a bit paranoid too. His wasn't a great life, but it was comfortable-at least it was until the morning he awoke with an egg between his legs. But what might have been a curse becomes a charm as this unlikely event leads him to all night diner, where he finds inedible pie, undrinkable coffee, and the girl of his dreams. But can this unexpected chance at love survive after the egg cracks and time itself turns against him, dead-set on rerouting history and putting a shovel to the face of the one person who could bring real and lasting change to Manny's world?
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